m4ge:

thighrabanks:

francieum:

blaineandersasss:

kpopcrackchat:

burqini:

Chemistry more like cheMYSTERY because i have no idea what’s going on

Calculus more like calKILLus because a piece of my sanity dies with every equation

Biology more like BYEology because I’m out

physics more like phySICKS because im getting real tired of this shit

trigonometry? more like TRIGGERnometry because this shit makes me homicidal

spanish more like spanish because idk wtf is going on

(via glittercumshots)

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When my parents decide to be ‘funny’ by making fun of me:

fuckyeahlaughters:

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(Source: the-girl-who-laughed, via glittercumshots)

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quazza:

bryko:

When people act like anything mildly creative in this universe must be the result of a drug trip

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dude are u high

(via glittercumshots)

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umistakemeforstraight:

fearfullittleloverr:

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!

I think this just changed my life.
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in the shower
  • me: that's not quite hot enough let me just turn it up to boiling lava.
  • me: yes good i shall bathe in the waters of mordor.
  • me: why do we have like 25 different kinds of shampoo?
  • me: i'ma read the back of this.
  • me: lather, rinse, repeat?
  • me: why do i have to repeat is your product so shitty it didn't work the first time?
  • me: hold the fuck up i have to write fanfic in my head real quick.
  • me: if water is a renewable resource does that mean every celebrity i've ever loved has showered in this same water before?
  • me: eheheheheheheheheheh.
  • me: but you didn't have to cUT ME OFF.
  • me: did i already wash my hair?
  • me: i think i did but i don't remember.
  • me: i'ma do it again.
  • me: FUCK I REPEATED.
  • me: well played, pantene pro-v. WELL PLAYED
  • me: i wonder what it's like to have sex in the shower.
  • me: i bet it's awkward.
  • me: i bet a lot of injuries happen that way.
  • me: okay time to get out.
  • me:
  • me:
  • me: where the fuck is my towel.
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Reblog if you actually like reading.

depp-carter-burton:

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(Source: dead-of-night, via xxxgabbygorexxx)

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